


Self Care

by itallstartedwithharry



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Clonecest, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mention of torture, Selfcest, Thoughts of Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-01
Updated: 2019-09-01
Packaged: 2020-10-05 00:30:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20480018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itallstartedwithharry/pseuds/itallstartedwithharry
Summary: Lost and alone in the Void, tormented by his captors, Loki is desperate for comfort and gets it from a surprising source.





	Self Care

**Author's Note:**

> Shout out to gaslightgallows and EndlessStairway, whose works inspired me to try writing Loki for myself! If you haven't checked our their fic you definitely should!

Time seemed not to operate in this pocket dimension of the universe. Sometimes Loki would fight rising despair after having been left alone for weeks, and the next second be groaning and heaving as if he had just been thrown in after meeting with The Other. Exactly what happened when he was outside this…cell? space? prison? was unclear. Any attempt to focus on The Other or the being he served felt as though his mind was fracturing into pieces. It triggered sensations of burning heat, of a will so strong it pressed and re-shaped the atoms of his form. It was enough to send Loki into a mental spiral and panic attack. He could no longer differentiate between which memories were real and which were implanted horrors.

This left him with few options. He couldn’t think of the only sentient life form he had seen since he fell from the bifrost. Couldn’t think of Tho-. No. Certainly not him. In this realm there was only excruciating pain and less pain. His current state of being was the latter, for which he was grateful.

There was a surface on which he lay, with a wall supporting him - whether either was real did not matter; he appreciated any level of comfort it provided. He tried to focus on something, anything, to anchor him to reality while simultaneously flinching away from any memory or thought that strayed too close to the true horror of his situation. Being surrounded by so much nothing was overwhelmingly emptying. Fleeting recollections of warmth, of connection, were almost too much to bear.

Throughout Loki’s life, his need to feel appreciated was as great as the extent to which he tried to hide it - anything Odin could consider a weakness cost him in the eyes of the court. But in this moment Loki would take all of Odin’s dismissiveness and the judgments of the nobles for one kind touch. With every full-body shudder, with every too-long gap in his memory, he desperately wanted to be comforted. He lay there, muscles spasming, face sweating, and wishing that he had perished in the void instead of falling into the thrall of - _do not think of him do NOT think of him._ He squeezed his eyes shut in pain, trying not to cry even as his soul screamed out for it to end.

A gentle hand floated over his cheek and brushed away the one tear that had escaped.

Loki froze and opened his eyes with a gasp. Hovering over him, with an expression of gentle sympathy, was himself.

It wasn’t seeing the clone that disturbed him; creating illusions of himself was a trick he mastered early on to play tricks on the servants and his brother. And due to his deep understanding of and connection to his seidr, it wasn’t entirely unusual for some of his magic to occur with timing bordering on precognition. But in this space, he wouldn’t have expected his powers to be effective. His immediate attempts to escape had quickly proven futile - but then again, this apparition did not appear intent on escape.

The simulacrum leaned forward, pressing several gentle kisses from the side of his head to the side of his mouth before leaning back as if to gauge Loki’s reaction. As the double tilted his head in question, Loki found his shock fade to embarrassed curiosity. His pulse quickened in anticipation as the simulacrum’s lips met his own, the warmth and kindness bringing a sting behind his eyes.

The pang of sadness was soon replaced by breathlessness as the kiss deepened, tongues moving in between gasps and soft smacking of lips. Loki felt warmth, for the first time in this prison dimension. Not the searing heat that tortured his limitations as Jotun, but an internal glow from feeling safe and wanted. The clone rose up again, shaking his hair back in a way Loki was very familiar with before his shirt shimmered away. Once again an eyebrow was raised in challenge, and this time Loki gave as good as he got. He had already thrown caution to the winds, why not see it through to the hopefully pleasurable end? Attempting a smirk of his own, Loki willed his clothes to disappear, underthings and all. He convinced himself that his expression didn’t reveal the excitement and hopeful anticipation of approval.

A pleased hum came from the simulacrum, and he ran hands down Loki’s arms before gently pinning his wrists down with soft pressure and bending to lick over a nipple. Tension shot through Loki as a first instinct, and he prepared to clench his fists and send a shockwave to throw aside everything surrounding him.

“Shhhh,” the clone soothed, making eye contact. _Trust me. Trust yourself. _The words came softly into Loki’s mind. There were so many reasons to doubt his safety and sanity at the present, and yet…his seidr felt nothing but peace. Loki pressed his lips together, one corner quirking up, and nodded.

“Okay,” he spoke to his mirror image in a whisper, then inhaled sharply as teeth brought each nipple to attention. He closed his eyes and allowed himself to accept the sensation, keeping his hands still even when the simulacrum began to work his way down Loki’s body. No secret spot or sensitive area was overlooked, with kisses and love bites showering down from his insistent lover.

“Can I-?” Loki breathed before biting his lip.

In a snap, the two were nose to nose, the simulacrum’s eyes pleased. Almost in unison, both men smirked before Loki surged to close the distance between them, hands tangling in his clone’s hair and pushing their hips together. Any sound Loki would make caught in his throat with the rough pleasure of his bare cock against the silken fabric. Dual panting was the only noise in the space, until Loki growled in displeasure as his clone lifted off.

Shaking his head, his mirror image dismissed any remaining clothes with a gesture and walked forward on his knees. Suddenly, Loki was confronted by his own cock, hard and shining at the tip. Admittedly, it was a handsome cock, and he couldn't help but feel a slight ego boost. But then he reached out his tongue to taste himself and twin satisfied groans pushed coherent thought aside. He explored the texture of the tip as the clone made small aborted thrusts, relishing in the tang of precome. A sharp pain on his head caused Loki’s eyes to refocus on the clone, who had one hand wrapped around Loki’s hair as he pushed forward slightly to signal his intent.

Loki brought his hands, which had come up to rest on the clone’s thighs, shakily back to the ground. He took a breath, though it technically wasn’t needed, and relaxed his jaw. Almost immediately his mouth was invaded by the forceful press of his own cock. The simulacrum did not hold back, and Loki couldn’t take his eyes away from the flushed face thrown up in pleasure.Though Loki didn’t have a gag reflex to speak of, there was a deep intimacy in feeling his throat clench around each intrusion, his own balls slapping at his chin. The rhythm was almost hypnotic, and Loki groaned as the clone pulled him flush to his hips, holding there before releasing him entirely. Breathing heavily with saliva and precome down his chin, Loki watched as his clone brought a hand to lift one of Loki’s legs with clear intention.

Loki tensed on instinct. It was ironic in a way, to be afraid of pain when he had experienced indescribable tortures in this hell. But the concept of being hurt there, in such a private place, made his heart freeze.

Frowning in understanding, the double clicked his tongue and placed a delicate fingertip to Loki’s hole. Loki let out a surprised exhale at the release of tension and the large cool droplet sliding between his ass cheeks. It was quickly followed by two fingers, slick and magic pressing gently and insistently inside in a combination not often attained by past bedmates.

For once, the absence of time was a gift, and Loki alternated between gazing at his lover’s intent, kind face and closing his eyes to bask in the rhythmic motion of familiar long fingers pressing and rubbing against his inner walls. He let out a moan, purely of pleasure, as three fingers speared him and his clone leaned in close.

_It’s time. Let me in._

Without any further need for communication, Loki slowly turned over on his hands and knees as the fingers slowly withdrew. The discomfort of emptiness was quickly replaced by a smooth cock stretching him perfectly, slow enough that he felt the pressure along with the pleasure. And the length! When the simulacrum pulled back and thrust hard, Loki saw stars and squeezed around the thick cock to intensify the sensation.

_Give in._

And he did. Loki let his head hang and didn’t hold back any sound as his clone gave him everything. It wasn’t gentle, yet every hard thrust was exactly what Loki wanted and needed. It was freedom, as close to it as realistically possible. As his elbows gave way and he lowered his upper body to the ground, Loki moaned anew at the new angle. There was no shame, humiliation or pain, just a breathless high he had often sought but rarely found in Asgard.

His clone growled and pressed his body flush against him, speeding up. Loki and his double both gasped as the clone came, hot in his ass. It was as if the orgasm was shared between them.

_Good job, so good._

Loki tried not to show his joy at the affection coming from the words in his head. His face scrunched as the soft cock slipped from his ass and the clone turned them into a spooning position. Loki inhaled sharply as fingers replaced the cock, feeling the clone’s come slipping out of his hole as the fingers targeted his sensitive spots with furious precision. Frost Giants had internal anatomy that differed from the Aesir, and no bedsport partner back on Asgard had known what to look for. Neither had Loki himself, for that matter.

But the simulacrum…Loki’s mirror image knew him intimately, inside and out. Every jab of his long fingers pressed a spot that made Loki see stars. The clone had one arm wrapped around Loki’s front, pulling them close so Loki could lay his head back on his shoulder. The pleasure rose as Loki panted, arching his back from the sharp sensation. The hand on his chest slid down to grasp his cock, and with only a few strokes Loki was coming.

His cock pulsed and he cried out, not in pain but in relief as come shot up his chest. The clone pushed him through it, fingers and stroking continuing until Loki almost couldn’t stand it any more. He was floating, not the dissociation to escape from torture he was all too familiar with, but the headspace of knowing you were safe and taken care of.

“Don’t leave.”

Loki’s whisper was quiet, eyes closed against the shame. Terrified for the solid presence behind him to disappear and leave him alone in the emptiness once again.

_Let yourself go, I’m here. I’m always here._

The rhythm of their breaths synchronized to a slow, peaceful lull, the simulacrum still holding Loki tightly. For once, fear of what would happen in next minute was gone. His muscles were relaxed, his ass tingled pleasantly from intimate use, and soft kisses were pressed on his neck.

He drifted off to sleep. Safe.

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think! It's my first time writing MCU fic :)


End file.
